1. One Conversation: We are all talking to each other, not little conversations around the room.
2. No Phones: So that we are all engaged in the conversation.
3. Active Obedience: We are obedient to every commandment we know about, because commandments are just blessings.

So this week we were talking about the third one, and discussing Doctrine and Covenants 42, “The Law of the Gospel”.

Socioeconomics of the Gospel

Whenever we talk about The Law of Consecration I like to define it as:

From each according to his ability, to each according to his need.

And this is a fun “trap” for my class because this isn't a quote from Joseph Smith, but from Karl Marx.

And teaching communism in a Utah Sunday School class almost seems like heresy! Except of course it isn't. The difference between government-enforced communism and the law of consecration of course is enforcement. The law of consecration is voluntary, and as a commandment, it is simply a route to greater blessings. Communism is a secular form and will only be as effective as the honesty of the government enforcing it.

We read about several groups throughout the history of the world who have lived consecrated lives. The City of Enoch, the Nephites after Christ’s visit, and the “Primitive Church” in the New Testament. We teach the “Pride Cycle “ in our Seminaries and Sunday School classes. For reference:

And the reason we teach the cycle is so that we can learn how to get off the cycle at the right point. If we can stay humble when we are righteous and prosperous, we can avoid the suffering that pride engenders.

And this is consecration. It's also Jacob's law of obtaining riches:

But before ye seek for riches, seek ye for the kingdom of God. And after ye have obtained a hope in Christ ye shall obtain riches, if ye seek them; and ye will seek them for the intent to do good—to clothe the naked, and to feed the hungry, and to liberate the captive, and administer relief to the sick and the afflicted. -Book of Mormon, Jacob 2:18-19

The inescapable mathematics of Consecration dictate that as everyone gives more everyone also receives more. Which is why the pride comes in, and why people continue the cycle.

A modern example of this is the Perpetual Education Fund. For years my wife and I chose to pay a little bit each month into this fund, because education is something we both believe in strongly. So imagine our surpise when the church announced that the PEF had all it needs, and that they were no longer seeking contributions. This is Consecration in action. This is why I have the third rule in my class: Active Obedience. When we live the laws we get the blessings. And the blessings for taking care of those who are in need are clear:

Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it. Old Testament, Malachi 3:10, King James Version

When we give to the Lord's storehouse, the windows are opened and we are blessed beyond our capacity to receive.

Sociopolitics of the Gospel

The other side of this law is looking at those to whom we are to give and for whom we are to care. That sentence is fine. Leave it alone.

Joseph Smith was fond of the song “A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief”. The song is about all the places where we might see someone in need, and how the Lord interprets are care for them:

These deeds shall thy memorial be; Fear not, thou didst them unto me.” – A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief

But remember the penultimate verse?

In pris’n I saw him next, condemned To meet a traitor’s doom at morn. The tide of lying tongues I stemmed, And honored him ’mid shame and scorn. My friendship’s utmost zeal to try, He asked if I for him would die. The flesh was weak; my blood ran chill, But my free spirit cried, “I will!” – (ibid)

The man of grief in this verse is a criminal. They are condemned by the law to die. We don't know what their crime was. But we shouldn't care. It is our duty to care for condemned criminals. It is our duty to love one another, every one, every other.

© Nathanial Dickson. All Rights Reserved. Discuss...

...you will never be happier than you are grateful. “Hallmarks of Happiness” by Gary B. Sabin, October 2023 General Conference

A few weeks ago I wrote:

H ≤ G

on the chalkboard in my Sunday School classroom before class started. We were talking about the plan of happiness and how we can follow that plan. When I got to this topic, I explained that H ≤ G helps me remember that I need to increase my gratitude to increase my happiness. One of the students asked, incredulously, “is that you think? In algebraic formulas?” No. Not at all. I'm terrible at math and algebra. But I do like simple statements of truth, and when I heard this one in General Conference in October of 2023 it stuck with me. It's such a simple and profound truth.

I want to be happy. I think this is a fairly universal desire. So what will make me happy? More toys? More money? More food?

All three of those material wants are subject to a form of the law of diminishing returns. Eat enough food and eating more food becomes painful. Make enough money and making more money can lead to selfishness.

A line from a song by the band Train has stuck with me for years:

In a world that what we want Is only what we want until it's ours (Calling All Angels by Pat Monahan, recorded by Train)

The antidote to this problem is gratitude.

I've been teaching my Sunday School classes the value of journals for years. I have made each and every student the promise that I will supply them with little notebooks to use as gratitude journals until one of us dies. If they die, I'm sorry, no more notebooks. If I die it'll take me a while to get a notebook to them.

But Elder Sabin's talk gives us such a clear and understandable relationship between gratitude and happiness. I can never have more happiness than I have gratitude. Why not?

Comparison Is Sadness

There is an oft-quoted saying:

Comparison is the thief of joy. (Variously Ascribed)

And I think about it a lot. A lot of current research into the effect of social media on our minds verifies this statement. In general we are comparing ourselves at our worst to someone else's social media “best”. Our dirty living room right now to someone else's clean living room at some point when they managed to snap a picture. The concept of Keeping up with the Joneses is the source of a lot of debt and sadness.

So instead, we look at what we have. I have a home. I have a family. I have a job. I have a wonderful ward, full of people I love, admire, and respect. Do I need more stuff? It sure seems like looking for “more” leads to me only wanting more. Gratitude tells me that I have enough and now it's time to look to some other source to increase my happiness.

Gratitude Begets Humility

It's hard to be pridefully grateful. The sentence parses as English but barely makes sense. If we are grateful we are admitting that someone else did something for us, that we aren't the sole creator of our good fortune. If we are grateful to God and Christ then we are acknowledging them as being the source of all good things:

And in nothing doth man offend God, or against none is his wrath kindled, save those who confess not his hand in all things, and obey not his commandments. Doctrine and Covenants 59:21

Each moment we are supported by God; He created this earth and gives us each moment upon it. We cannot acknowledge these things and still be prideful.

Gratitude Focuses Our Minds

How can we cultivate within our hearts an attitude of gratitude? President Joseph F. Smith, sixth President of the Church, provided an answer. Said he: “The grateful man sees so much in the world to be thankful for, and with him the good outweighs the evil. Love overpowers jealousy, and light drives darkness out of his life.” (The Divine Gift of Gratitude President Thomas S. Monson, October 2010 General Conference)

We find what we look for. If we are seeking things for which to be grateful we will find them. Many of them! If we are seeking reasons to be miserable, we will find them. Too many of them! Our human brains are amazing at pattern matching. If we tell our minds to look for things that make us feel grateful, and we write those things down (writing things down is a way to tell your brain “this is important!”), we will naturally start to see more things that make us feel grateful.

I am an optimist by choice. I am aware of the problems in the world but I choose to look at the good. It's hard. But being grateful, cultivating this mindset of finding things for which to be grateful, has provided me a way to choose optimism. I'm not perfect at it, I still get depressed and sad, but I do find that as I increase my gratitude, I increase my happiness.

© Nathanial Dickson. All Rights Reserved. Discuss...

Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:16

I really love that we are focusing on the New Testament this year in Come Follow Me, but that's not the point of this post.

This verse from Hebrews is so delightful. A major component of faith is trusting that Christ and the Father care about us as individuals. Which means that they want us to come home. We believe it on some level, but it's easy to say “but that doesn't really apply to me.”

So we need to read this verse. It was directed to the Hebrews, to whom the “Throne of Grace” or Mercy Seat, was accessible to the high priest on one day each year. The High Priest went in to symbolically pay for the sins of the entire nation of Israel once a year. Going boldly into the Holy of Holies was a sure death sentence in the years when Israel was in the wilderness.

And now we are told that we are all to “come boldly” to the throne of Grace! The way is open now to each and every one of us! Christ is the High Priest of the new covenant and invites us all to come to him. And for more than just repentance! We are told to come to “obtain mercy”, but also to “find grace in time of need”. What kind of need? Every need. Look at this scripture in the context of the one quoted above:

Cry unto him when ye are in your fields, yea, over all your flocks. Cry unto him in your houses, yea, over all your household, both morning, mid-day, and evening. Yea, cry unto him against the power of your enemies. Yea, cry unto him against the devil, who is an enemy to all righteousness. Cry unto him over the crops of your fields, that ye may prosper in them. Cry over the flocks of your fields, that they may increase. But this is not all; ye must pour out your souls in your closets, and your secret places, and in your wilderness. Alma 34:20-26

We are meant to boldly ask for help with: – Work (fields and flocks) – Family (three times a day at least) – Houses – Enemies – The Devil – Our crops (I interpret this as my work associates and work tasks) – Flocks and fields (and cars, that they may keep running) – And in all our secret places, and when we feel lost in the wilderness.

We don't need to be shy, we don't need to be afraid, we are asked, even commanded, to be bold when we ask our Father in Heaven for help. That makes me feel so loved.

© Nathanial Dickson. All Rights Reserved. Discuss...

...When ye are weary he waketh morning by morning... 2 Nephi 7:4

This verse spoke to me this morning. I'm often weary. Not just physically tired, but weary in my soul, tired of trying, tired of failing, tired of not being good enough.

And I'm not the first to feel this way, obviously. Every person has gone through this, has been weary. We are such inconsistent creatures, righteous today and wicked...well, the same day. We fall down a lot.

But not our Savior. he waketh morning by morning. He's always there, always ready to do the work we rely on Him to do. When we are ready to come to Him, to ask Him for help, He's there. Where we are inconsistent, He is consistent, faithful, and ready to apply His redeeming Atonement to cover our weaknesses, to give balm to our hurts.

© Nathanial Dickson. All Rights Reserved. Discuss...

He is Risen! He is Risen! Tell it out with joyful voice. He has burst his three days’ prison; Let the whole wide earth rejoice. Death is conquered; man is free. Christ has won the victory.

I love this hymn. There is so much in this song that speaks to me in this day and age, and yet it is also tied into an older and eternal world.

I have recently been called to be the choir director in my ward. We have a performance for Easter, in two weeks. No pressure. So I chose this as one of the songs we'll be singing.

Here's what I love about it: – The jubilant feeling. I don't know if the world does “Jubilation” any more, we are too saturated in low-grade “I'm okay I guess” to really be jubilant. This song is a massive wave of unbounded joy from being set free from a fate quite literally worse than death. – The gratitude built into every line of this song. Any mention of ourselves is in a passive voice, we are celebrating the victory of our God, our Lord, who has done these great things for us.

Come with high and holy hymning; Chant our Lord’s triumphant lay. Not one darksome cloud is dimming Yonder glorious morning ray, Breaking o’er the purple east, Symbol of our Easter feast.

• As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints we don't have the concepts of “feats” and “fasts” the way the Catholic church understands them. But feast days aren't just like, Thanksgiving, they are a time to celebrate a great good that has happened by re-creating a smaller good and spending time with one another in one of mankind's oldest and most joyful pastimes, a shared meal.

He is risen! He is risen! He hath opened heaven’s gate. We are free from sin’s dark prison, Risen to a holier state. And a brighter Easter beam On our longing eyes shall stream.

• The last point (and the last verse) is such deep allegory. We have been in prison, we have been in the valley of the shadow of death, but now, this pure, brighter Easter beam cuts through the gloom and darkness that surrounds us, and we are, without any virtue or merit on our part, risen to a holier state, freed from dark prison, and given a path to heaven.

© Nathanial Dickson. All Rights Reserved. Discuss...

And now it came to pass that as Alma was journeying from the land of Gideon southward, away to the land of Manti, behold, to his astonishment, he met with the sons of Mosiah journeying towards the land of Zarahemla.

Now these sons of Mosiah were with Alma at the time the angel first appeared unto him; therefore Alma did rejoice exceedingly to see his brethren; and what added more to his joy, they were still his brethren in the Lord; yea, and they had waxed strong in the knowledge of the truth; for they were men of a sound understanding and they had searched the scriptures diligently, that they might know the word of God. Alma 17:1-2

In 1998 I was called to serve in the Philippines San Fernando mission. When I arrived at the MTC I was a little worried that all my MTC gear said “Philippines Olongapo”, a word that made much less sense than “San Fernando” but it didn't really matter. It was still the Philippines, still Tagalog speaking. My MTC district was ten elders, five of us going to Olongapo, five to another mission. (sorry elders, I've forgotten where you went.)

The five of us who went to Olongapo, our “batch” as the mission parlance at the time went, bumped into one another from time to time. One elder and I were trained on the Bataan Peninsula, where the infamous Bataan Death March began. (note: it's not pronounced “baton”, it's “bata-an”. Say each vowel, and they're all the same, no diphthongs in Tagalog. Thank you. You're making me crazy when you say it wrong.)

I spent a little time in a district with one of my other “batch mates”, and, somehow, took over areas from batch mates three times. So even if I saw my MTC brethren but rarely I heard stories about them from their previous companions or wards.

Near the end of our missions we saw each other once a month at Zone Leaders Conference, and got to learn from one another as our mission president called on us to share with the other zone leaders.

And then, in 2000, we returned home. We all flew together from Manila to Hong Kong, from Hong Kong to California, where one elder lived, and then the rest of us got on different planes to our various homes and then...

I lived with one of my batch mates for a few months in 2001, before I got married.

And then...

And then it's been twenty years. I found one of our batch on Facebook, my roommate from my pre-marriage days, but neither of us have been all that active on the Big Blue Menace, so that wasn't a strong connection. For the most part I've just sort of wondered where everyone went and what they were up to.

So imagine my joy when, in the midst of the pandemic, one of my friends told me that we were trying to get the entire batch together for a Zoom call, and in that call I discovered that they were my brethren still. A loneliness I didn't know I was feeling has been assuaged.

Since then we've had a surprisingly active group text thread going. A lot of it is talking about the mission, all those years ago. But we're also all dads, we've had lives full of all the commonplace but remarkable adventures that make up the human experience. We aren't Alma and the sons of Mosiah, it's true. And we've spent the past twenty years having jobs instead of converting entire cities.

But we are still brethren in the gospel.

© Nathanial Dickson. All Rights Reserved. Discuss...

And it came to pass that we lived after the manner of happiness. 2 Nephi 5:27

We read this and we think that Nephi was having an easy time of life for about thirty years. We're wrong of course. In that thirty years they made swords to protect themselves from attackers. They were still having illnesses, they were still living a mortal life.

What does it mean to live in the manner of happiness? I think it's always a choice, it's always a decision to see what can make you happy, and then to make more of that. In Nephi's time, they built a temple, and were taught to be industrious, and labor with their hands. They were taught humility and faith and gratitude, And through hard work and humility and faith and gratitude they were still happy after many wars and contentions with their brethren.

Happiness wasn't external. The manner of happiness is a way of living, not a set of circumstances. It's a way we build our view of the world around us, and use our hands, industriously, to change our world.

And it's a very not-natural-man way to live. The natural man is designed from the cells up to be on the lookout for danger. This makes sense because danger can kill us dead. When we started being social creatures the natural man started rating social danger as highly as physical danger. So our natural minds look for danger in any way we can, first and foremost.

The problem is that the internet is full of danger. More than we can ever process. And we aren't good at saying “this danger isn't actually going to hurt me,” or even “this is the fourth time I've read about the same danger, there is still only one danger.” Anything that reduces our sense of danger is deadly if the danger is a tiger that is about to jump on you. You don't lump all the tigers together, you be afraid of each individual tiger. This is quite literally only natural.

But it doesn't work with virtual tigers online. So we need to be better than our natural brains. Supernatural, if you will. We need our minds and spirits to guide us away from the daily tiger report.

These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world. John 16:33

Christ defeated the “tigers” of this world. All the dangers, all the social dangers and addictions and stresses. He is not ignorant of COVID-19, nor was he surprised. He is fully aware of our situation and if we put our lives in his hands he can make the best of our lives in this time.

Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy. 2 Nephi 2:25

We are specifically here to have joy. We were made for it. God is our father, and didn't send us here to suffer, but to learn and grow and be like him. We have to stretch, we have to be tested, but we are still here to have joy. It's interesting that the fall of Adam and Eve was requisite for us to have joy. It's important that we understand the nature of joy: it cannot exist unalloyed with trials.

When Adam and Eve were kicked out of the Garden of Eden they weren't turned out on their own. They were specifically taught to make coats of skins to deal with the hard world they were suddenly asked to cope with. This was revelation about a practical matter. We are still invited to ask for, and still able to receive, such revelation.

© Nathanial Dickson. All Rights Reserved. Discuss...

NOTE: During the COVID-19 Pandemic families have been invited to have sacrament meeting in our homes, with just our immediate family. This is done under the direction of the Bishop, with worthy priesthood holders officiating in the home. We don't actually print up programs and whatnot for our home sacrament meeting, but this is what it would look like if we did. There, I just explained the joke to death.

Conducting: Brother Dickson The Elder Pianist: Sister Dickson Chorister: Sister Dickson the Younger

Opening Hymn: Chosen by Sister Dickson Opening Prayer: Brother Dickson II

Sacrament Hymn: Chosen by Sister Dickson

Sacrament: Blessed by Brother Dickson the Elder Passed by Brother Dickson the Deacon

Testimonies

Closing Hymn: Chosen by Sister Dickson Closing Prayer: Brother Dickson the Second Youngest

© Nathanial Dickson. All Rights Reserved. Discuss...

We have found him, of whom Moses in the law, and the prophets, did write, Jesus of Nazareth, the son of Joseph. John 1:45

Nathanael's response, “Can there any good thing come out of Nazareth?” sounds like the Chandler Bing of the New Testament. “Could this man BE any more Nazarene?”

Christ, who knows Nathanael perfectly, saw through his ironic persona and identified him immediately:

Jesus saw Nathanael coming to him, and saith of him, Behold an Israelite indeed, in whom is no guile! John 1:47

In whom there is no guile! Oh. Wow. What a compliment! What high praise!

Nathanael, impressed perhaps by the Savior's ability to see to the heart, abandons his witty cynicism and confesses:

Rabbi, thou art the Son of God; thou art the King of Israel. John 1:49

I have loved this story since I was a child, not only because my name is Nathanial, not only because I have a bent toward the sarcastic, but because I would love to be called “Nathanial, in whom there is no guile!”

Think for a moment: What if Nathanael had stayed under that fig tree? What if he had let his dismissive attitude stop him from following Philip?

This is the danger of sarcasm, of cynicism. Sarcasm feels like a way to deal with a world that is hard, that is trying to hurt us. In reality, cynicism and sarcasm are a form of guile in which we are lying to ourselves about the world around us, and in so doing, cut ourselves off.

In shielding ourselves from disappointments and distresses, what do we miss out on? The answer, it seems, is everything.

C.S. Lewis knew this. Said he:

There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket – safe, dark, motionless, airless – it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell. from 'The Four Loves' emphasis added

Shakespeare knew this. Hamlet remarked that Denmark was a terrible prison, and his friends disagreed. Hamlet conceded the point:

Why, then, 'tis none to you; for there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so. (Hamlet, Act 2 Scene 2)

Hamlet was ready to admit that Denmark could be a prison for him, but not for Rosencrantz and Guildenstern. They were in the same country, standing right next to each other. But to him it was the worst dungeon in all the world, while to them it was...well, perhaps he wasn't ready or willing to consider what it was to them.

It's easy to dislike things. It's a “safe” position, intellectually. Everything on this earth is imperfect, so we can mock anything. We could ask “Can there any good thing come out of NBC/Marvel/Apple/Google/Novels/Comics/Your Favorite State to Dump On/Your favorite country to dump on?”

What does it get us? What good does it do us?

Hamlet was fictional, and Shakespeare built Hamlet's prison around him. But how many people are living in a prison they built themselves? How many people have made it impossible for themselves to find joy in anything, because they've become so adept at heaping scorn on everything?

C.S. Lewis and Shakespeare were both talking about the same thing:

Anhedonia: inability to feel pleasure in normally pleasurable activities. (Oxford Dictionary of English)

What's the solution?

I would suggest that there are two qualities we could foster in ourselves that would help:

1. Humility
2. Sincerity

And they are tightly connected.

Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child... Matthew 18:4

My youngest child is amazed and delighted by everything. Why not? The world is pretty amazing! From her perspective the world is mountains and the moon and unicorns! She can shout “Alexa, play 'happy people'” and her favorite song comes on instantly! And there's brothers to play with and dinner to eat and milk to drink and a trampoline to jump on and a plush dragon to snuggle and how could all these things exist in a world and you still call it a “prison”?

There are many people who don't have these nice things and we as adults need to be mindful that we are doing what we can to improve their situation. But does my ennui over the plight of someone I've never met improve that person's life? I would suggest that it is easier to enact positive change from a place of positivity, a place of child-like, Nathanael-like guilelessness.

So we need to become as a little child. If we see something that is interesting or impressive we need to say that it's impressive or interesting. We need to start from the position that the world around us is impressive, then work to make it more impressive for everyone.

Also, people are impressive. My youngest may be shy around people she hasn't met yet, but she's not afraid of them. We are teaching our children to be careful, not to follow strangers, not to get into vehicles without letting parents know, not to be foolish. But we aren't teaching them to fear everyone.

Most people are good. We know this, subconsciously. If we actually thought everyone else on earth was terrible we would never go outside. On some level we have accepted this, or else we have shut down completely. And our internal sense is right! Statistically, this is the safest time to be alive in recorded history. Whenever your childhood was, be it ten years ago or thirty, there was more violent crime then than there is now.

Yes we have urgent problems. Yes there are things we need to fix in our society. I'm not ignoring nor downplaying these things.

But it's okay for us to be grateful for the blessing of being alive right now. We can shed the ineffective armor of sarcasm and be honestly, humbly open to the blessings that surround us even as we seek to improve the world further.

© Nathanial Dickson. All Rights Reserved. Discuss...

And he spake a parable unto them, saying, The ground of a certain rich man brought forth plentifully: And he thought within himself, saying, What shall I do, because I have no room where to bestow my fruits? And he said, This will I do: I will pull down my barns, and build greater; and there will I bestow all my fruits and my goods. And I will say to my soul, Soul, thou hast much goods laid up for many years; take thine ease, eat, drink, and be merry. But God said unto him, Thou fool, this night thy soul shall be required of thee... Luke 12:16-20

This parable has taken on new meaning for me lately. For a long time this parable has hung around in my mind for two reasons:

• It's a good reminder that everything we have is temporary, so don't get too attached to material stuff.
• It has a person talking to their own soul. That's the kind of thing I always find amusing.

I've always felt a little sorry for the rich man in this story. He didn't really do anything wrong. He has worked hard (presumably. I've always thought of him as a moderately prosperous farmer, not a slum lord or whatever), and now he wants to sit back and enjoy the literal fruits of his labors. But instead he dies. And gets called a fool in the process.

In early December 2019, I was looking forward to a luxurious two week holiday break from work. I had worked hard all year. I had graduated with an MBA. And now I was looking at my two weeks of free time and I said to my soul, “Soul, thou hast worked hard, so for two weeks, take thine ease, eat, drink, and be merry.”

Instead my son went into Diabetic Ketoacidosis, which was a surprise to us because we didn't know he was diabetic. As I watched my son gasp, nearly comatose, unable to speak clearly, stand up unaided, or even feed himself, it felt like my soul was being required of me that night. My wise wife asked some diabetic friends to test him, and we got him to the hospital. He is Type 1 diabetic, but he's handling it with incredible grace.

And now I understand this parable on a different level. The rich man in the parable wasn't called a fool for collecting goods, or even planning on a bigger barn. He was a fool because he was relying on his wealth to bring him peace.

And so was I.

I was planning on somehow extracting peace from my time away from the office. I had designed a future by myself, without thinking about what God had planned for me. I couldn't have known that my son's pancreas was at the end of its useful lifespan, but instead of being grateful for each day I was putting my stock in tomorrow, in my stored up vacation days.

The Myth of the New Normal

In the early days (well, we're still in the early days) I started thinking about how we would re-center on a new normal with my son's condition. Things will never be the same as they used to be, but for a while I was planning on, indeed putting stock in, things getting to a new place of equilibrium.

But is that even a real goal?

The movie Ratatouille has the following line:

Change is nature, the part that we can influence. And it starts when we decide.

And, when I wrote that down, a few days before Christmas, It really resonated with me. I told myself, “Self, you get to decide when things change, and how they change.”

Thou fool.

There is much that is in our control, but not all. Many changes will come, regardless of my decisions. I can seek all day long for a “new normal”, or a sense of equilibrium, but what good does that do? If a disruption of my day throws me out of alignment, because there is no more normal, what good is it anyway?

So if a “new normal” isn't the goal, what is my goal?

I've been thinking about that and writing little notes to myself in my pocket notebook. Here's the best I've come up with.

Faith is being okay with change. Either God will change us, or we will stagnate. Change will be scary, but it still has to happen.

For me, this is the best answer to my desire for normality. Normality in this context means stagnation. It means I'm not growing. God has a better plan for me than I have for myself, and it's up to me to let Him be in charge.

Al Carraway has had similar thoughts recently, it seems. In her article Why Trusting God is Hard she speculates on why it's hard to give our life to a perfect God who loves us perfectly:

...it could mean uncharted, unmarked, unwanted paths. Giving it to God means an unexpected outcome. It could mean giving up comfort or passions. It’s hard because we don’t know where any of it will lead us.

So what's the answer? What is the perfect, pithy thing that will fix all of this?

I don't know. Here's what's helped me, though:

• Don't be afraid to lean on people who love you. We have had so much love poured out upon us from people around us, both inside the church and out.
• Take it easy on yourself and accept that some days you're not okay.

And finally, Verse Two of Be Still, My Soul:

Be still, my soul; thy God doth undertake To guide the future as He has the past. Thy hope, thy confidence, let nothing shake; All now mysterious shall be bright at last. Be still, my soul; the waves and winds still know His voice who ruled them while He dwelt below.

Be Still, My Soul in the Lutheran Hymnal

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